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Solent Family Mediation assist families in conflict, particularly those divorcing or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-effective than heading to court. It reduces dispute, and your family remains in control of arrangements over kids, property and finance.

We work right throughout England and Wales and our family mediation service has more than 30 years’ experience supplying specialist, expert family mediation services.

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The Four Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No 2 marital relationships are the same, therefore it only follows that no 2 divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a woman who’s pondering divorce, you have several options about how to proceed. In general terms, you need to consider four broad classifications of divorce options: Do-It-Yourself (Do It Yourself), Mediation, Collaborative and Lawsuits. Let’s have a look at the benefits and drawbacks of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best suggestions I can provide you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

Divorce is really complicated, both legally and economically. You can easily make errors, and typically those mistakes are permanent. The only situation I can envision when a Do-It-Yourself divorce may make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marital relationship lasted only 2 or 3 years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, equivalent earnings and no alimony. In a case like that, a Diy divorce could be accomplished quite quickly and cheaply. I would still highly advise that each party have their own separate lawyer review the last documents.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple deals with a neutral mediator who assists both celebrations come to an agreement on all aspects of their divorce. The arbitrator may or may not be a lawyer, however he/she should be incredibly skilled in divorce and family law. In addition, it is important for the conciliator to be neutral and not advocate for either party. Both parties still need to consult with their own, individual attorneys during the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement arrangement.

Here are a few benefits and drawbacks to think about prior to choosing if mediation will work for you.

On the “professional” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lead to a better long-lasting relationship with your ex-husband considering that you will not “combat” in court.
  • Be much easier on children because the divorce proceedings may be more serene.
  • Accelerate a contract.
  • Reduce expenditures.
  • Help you stay in control of your divorce because you are deciding (and the court isn’t).
  • Allow for more discretion. Mediation is private; litigated divorce is public.

On the “con” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Waste time and money. If settlements stop working, you’ll require to begin all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly beneficial to one partner. If the arbitrator is inexperienced or prejudiced towards your other half, the result could be undesirable for you.
  • Lead to an unenforceable arrangement. A mediation contract that’s uneven or inadequately prepared can be challenged.
  • Lead to legal problems. Any issue of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to reveal certain possessions. Since all financial information is voluntarily revealed and there is no subpoena of records, your husband could potentially hide assets/income.
  • Strengthen unhealthy habits patterns. If one partner is controling and the other is submissive, the last settlement may not be reasonable.
  • Fuel feelings. Mediation might increase negative behavior of a partner with a propensity for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples frequently hear about the marvels of mediation and how it is reportedly a much better, less contentious, less costly and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My greatest problem with mediation is that the sole role and goal of the arbitrator is to get the celebrations to come to an arrangement– any arrangement! Unless both celebrations can be relatively affordable and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting divorced???), I believe that mediation is usually not a viable alternative for a lot of women.

Collaborative Divorce

Simply put, collaborative divorce happens when a couple accepts exercise a divorce settlement without going to court.

During a collective divorce both you and your hubby will each employ a lawyer who has actually been trained in the collective divorce process. The function of the lawyers in a collective divorce is rather different than in a standard divorce.

In the collaborative process, you, your partner and your particular attorneys all need to sign a contract that requires that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if litigation is threatened. If this occurs, both you and your partner need to start all over once again and find brand-new attorneys. Neither celebration can use the very same lawyers once again!

Even if the collective procedure achieves success, you will normally have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the arrangement. The legal procedure can be much quicker and less costly than traditional litigation if the collaborative procedure works.

Though, I have found that the collaborative method often does not work well to settle divorces involving complex financial circumstances or when there are significant properties. In collaborative divorce, just as in mediation, all monetary details (income, assets and liabilities) is revealed willingly. What’s more, many high net worth divorces involve services and expert practices where it is relatively easy to conceal properties and income.

… as a basic rule, my recommendation is this:

Do NOT use any of these first 3 choices– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You presume your other half is hiding assets/income.
  • Your partner is imperious, and you have difficulty speaking up or you hesitate to voice your opinions.
  • There is a history or hazard of domestic violence (physical and/or psychological) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your partner has a drug/alcohol dependency.

Litigated Divorce

The 4th divorce alternative is the most common. Nowadays, the majority of separating couples pick the “traditional” design of litigated divorce.

Keep in mind, however, “prosecuted” does not suggest the divorce winds up in court. In fact, the large bulk of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement contract. “Litigation” is a legal term significance ‘performing a claim.’

Why are claims a part of divorce? Because contrary to popular belief, divorce generally does not include 2 people equally accepting end their marital relationship. In 80 percent of cases, the decision to divorce is unilateral– one celebration desires the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, produces an adversarial circumstance right from the start and often disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, given that both techniques count on the complete cooperation of both celebrations and the voluntary disclosure of all monetary information.

Clearly, if you are starting out with an adversarial and extremely mentally charged situation, the chances are really high that cooperation or mediation might fail. Why take the threat of going those paths when chances are they might stop working, wasting your money and time?

The most important and most difficult parts of any divorce are coming to an arrangement on child custody, department of possessions and liabilities and alimony payments (just how much and for the length of time). You want your lawyer to be a highly competent negotiator, you do not desire someone who is extremely combative, all set to battle over anything and whatever. An extremely controversial method will not just prolong the discomfort and considerably increase your legal fees, it will likewise be mentally harmful to everyone involved, specifically the children.

Keep in mind: A lot of divorce attorneys (or at least the ones I would advise) will always make every effort to come to an affordable settlement with the other celebration. However if they can’t concern a reasonable settlement or if the other celebration is entirely unreasonable then, unfortunately, litigating, or threatening to do so, might be the only way to resolve these problems.

If you have attempted everything else, and you do wind up in court, things can get really nasty and hostile. Up till that point both attorneys were “arbitrators,” trying to get the celebrations to jeopardize and concern some reasonable resolution. Once in court, the function of each attorney changes. Settlements and compromise relocate to the back burner. Their brand-new task is to “win” and get the best possible outcome for their client.

And do not forget, once you remain in court, it’s a judge who understands very little about you and your family that will make the final decisions about your kids, your home, your cash and how you live your life. That’s a very big risk for both celebrations to take– which’s likewise why the risk of going to court is normally such a good deterrent.

Here’s my last word of guidance about divorce options: Weigh divorce choices thoroughly. The bottom line is that every family, and every divorce, is various. Clearly, if you have the ability to work with your other half to make decisions and both of you are sincere and sensible, then mediation or the collaborative technique might be best. But, if you have doubts, it is great to be prepared with “Fallback” which would be the litigated divorce.

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