Can I make an application for a court order without mediation? – 2021


Solent Family Mediation assist households in conflict, particularly those divorcing or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-efficient than heading to court. It decreases dispute, and your household stays in control of plans over kids, residential or commercial property and financing.

We work right throughout England and Wales and our family mediation service has over 30 years’ experience providing expert, expert family mediation services.

[su_button url=”” style=”3d” size=”4″ wide=”yes”]Arrange a Call Back[/su_button]

The 4 Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No two marital relationships are the same, and so it only follows that no 2 divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a female who’s contemplating divorce, you have numerous options about how to continue. In general terms, you require to think about four broad classifications of divorce alternatives: Do-It-Yourself (Do It Yourself), Mediation, Collaborative and Lawsuits. Let’s have a look at the benefits and drawbacks of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The best suggestions I can offer you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

The only scenario I can picture when a Do-It-Yourself divorce may make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marriage lasted just 2 or 3 years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, similar incomes and no alimony. In a case like that, a Do-It-Yourself divorce could be accomplished quite quickly and cheaply.


In divorce mediation, a separating couple works with a neutral mediator who helps both celebrations come to an agreement on all elements of their divorce. Both parties still require to consult with their own, specific lawyers during the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement agreement.

Here are a couple of pros and cons to consider prior to deciding if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation might:

  • Result in a much better long-term relationship with your ex-husband since you will not “fight” in court.
  • Be much easier on children given that the divorce proceedings may be more serene.
  • Expedite a contract.
  • Reduce expenses.
  • Assist you stay in control of your divorce due to the fact that you are making the decisions (and the court isn’t).
  • Allow for more discretion. Mediation is personal; litigated divorce is public.

Nevertheless, on the “con” side, divorce mediation might likewise:

  • Lose time and money. If settlements stop working, you’ll need to start all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly beneficial to one partner. If the mediator is unskilled or prejudiced towards your spouse, the outcome could be undesirable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable arrangement. A mediation arrangement that’s uneven or badly drafted can be challenged.
  • Lead to legal problems. Any problem of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to reveal certain assets. Given that all financial details is voluntarily disclosed and there is no subpoena of records, your hubby could possibly conceal assets/income.
  • Reinforce unhealthy behavior patterns. If one partner is dominating and the other is submissive, the final settlement may not be reasonable.
  • Fuel feelings. Mediation might increase unfavorable behavior of a partner with a propensity for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples frequently find out about the wonders of mediation and how it is reportedly a much better, less controversial, cheaper and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My most significant issue with mediation is that the sole function and objective of the arbitrator is to get the celebrations to come to an arrangement– any contract! Keep in mind, the conciliator can not offer any guidance. All they can do is attempt to get you to concur. Not all contracts are excellent arrangements, and in reality, in many cases, no contract is much better than a bad arrangement. Unless both parties can be fairly reasonable and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting separated???), I believe that mediation is typically not a practical choice for most females.

Collective Divorce

Simply put, collaborative divorce happens when a couple accepts exercise a divorce settlement without going to court.

Throughout a collective divorce both you and your husband will each hire a lawyer who has been trained in the collaborative divorce procedure. The role of the attorneys in a collaborative divorce is quite different than in a conventional divorce. Each attorney advises and helps their client in working out a settlement contract. You will meet with your attorney independently and you and your attorney will likewise consult with your partner and his attorney. The collaborative process might likewise involve other neutral experts such as a divorce financial coordinator who will assist both of you resolve your monetary concerns and a coach or therapist who can assist guide both of you through child custody and other emotionally charged concerns.

In the collaborative process, you, your hubby and your respective attorneys all should sign an agreement that needs that both lawyers withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if lawsuits is threatened. If this takes place, both you and your husband need to begin all over once again and discover new lawyers. Neither celebration can use the exact same attorneys once again!

Even if the collaborative process is successful, you will usually need to appear in family court so a judge can sign the arrangement. But the legal process can be much quicker and less expensive than traditional litigation if the collective process works.

Though, I have discovered that the collective approach typically does not work well to settle divorces involving complex monetary circumstances or when there are considerable assets. In collaborative divorce, simply as in mediation, all financial information (income, possessions and liabilities) is revealed voluntarily. What’s more, numerous high net worth divorces involve businesses and expert practices where it is reasonably easy to conceal assets and income.

… as a general rule, my recommendation is this:

Do NOT use any of these very first 3 options– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You suspect your partner is concealing assets/income.
  • Your partner is domineering, and you have problem speaking out or you hesitate to voice your opinions.
  • There is a history or danger of domestic violence (physical and/or mental) towards you and/or your children.
  • You or your other half has a drug/alcohol dependency.

Litigated Divorce

The 4th divorce option is the most common. Nowadays, most of divorcing couples choose the “standard” model of prosecuted divorce.

Bear in mind, though, “prosecuted” does not imply the divorce winds up in court. In fact, the huge bulk of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement contract. “Lawsuits” is a legal term meaning ‘carrying out a lawsuit.’

In 80 percent of cases, the choice to divorce is unilateral– one celebration wants the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, produces an adversarial scenario right from the start and typically disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, considering that both approaches rely on the complete cooperation of both celebrations and the voluntary disclosure of all monetary information.

Plainly, if you are starting out with an adversarial and extremely emotionally charged scenario, the possibilities are very high that partnership or mediation might stop working. Why take the threat of going those paths when chances are they might stop working, wasting your time and money?

The most important and most tough parts of any divorce are pertaining to a contract on child custody, division of assets and liabilities and spousal support payments (just how much and for for how long). You want your attorney to be an extremely proficient negotiator, you don’t desire someone who is overly combative, ready to combat over anything and whatever. An overly controversial approach will not only prolong the pain and significantly increase your legal fees, it will likewise be emotionally damaging to everybody involved, particularly the kids.

Keep in mind: A lot of divorce attorneys (or a minimum of the ones I would suggest) will constantly make every effort to come to a sensible settlement with the other party. If they can’t come to a reasonable settlement or if the other party is completely unreasonable then, sadly, going to court, or threatening to do so, may be the only way to fix these problems.

Up till that point both lawyers were “mediators,” attempting to get the parties to jeopardize and come to some reasonable resolution. Once in court, the function of each lawyer modifications.

And don’t forget, once you’re in court, it’s a judge who understands really little about you and your family that will make the final decisions about your kids, your property, your money and how you live your life. That’s a very big threat for both celebrations to take– and that’s also why the threat of litigating is normally such a great deterrent.

Here’s my last word of suggestions about divorce alternatives: Weigh divorce alternatives thoroughly. If you have doubts, it is excellent to be ready with “Plan B” which would be the litigated divorce.

[su_heading]Related Articles[/su_heading]

[su_heading]Solent Family Mediation Important Links[/su_heading]

Back to Top