Can mediation be required? – 2021


Solent Family Mediation assist households in conflict, specifically those separating or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-effective than heading to court. It decreases conflict, and your family remains in control of plans over kids, residential or commercial property and finance.

We work right throughout England and Wales and our family mediation service has more than 30 years’ experience supplying specialist, professional family mediation services.

[su_button url=”” style=”3d” size=”4″ wide=”yes”]Arrange a Call Back[/su_button]

The 4 Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No 2 marital relationships are the same, and so it only follows that no two divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a female who’s pondering divorce, you have a number of choices about how to continue. In general terms, you require to consider 4 broad categories of divorce alternatives: Do-It-Yourself (Do It Yourself), Mediation, Collaborative and Litigation. Let’s have a look at the pros and cons of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best recommendations I can provide you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

The only situation I can imagine when a Diy divorce may make any possible sense, may be in a case where the marriage lasted only two or three years and there are no children, little or no assets/debts to be divided, comparable incomes and no spousal support. In a case like that, a Do-It-Yourself divorce could be achieved rather quickly and cheaply.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple deals with a neutral arbitrator who assists both parties concern an arrangement on all aspects of their divorce. The conciliator may or may not be an attorney, however he/she must be incredibly fluent in divorce and family law. In addition, it is vital for the arbitrator to be neutral and not advocate for either party. Both parties still require to consult with their own, specific attorneys throughout the mediation and prior to signing the last divorce settlement agreement.

Here are a couple of pros and cons to consider prior to choosing if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lead to a better long-lasting relationship with your ex-husband given that you will not “combat” in court.
  • Be much easier on children because the divorce procedures might be more tranquil.
  • Accelerate an agreement.
  • Reduce costs.
  • Assist you stay in control of your divorce since you are making the decisions (and the court isn’t).
  • Allow for more discretion. Mediation is private; prosecuted divorce is public.

On the “con” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lose time and cash. If negotiations fail, you’ll need to start all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly beneficial to one partner. If the conciliator is unskilled or prejudiced towards your spouse, the outcome could be undesirable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable agreement. A mediation agreement that’s lopsided or improperly prepared can be challenged.
  • Cause legal problems. Any problem of law will still require to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to reveal certain properties. Given that all monetary information is voluntarily disclosed and there is no subpoena of records, your other half could possibly conceal assets/income.
  • Strengthen unhealthy habits patterns. If one spouse is controling and the other is submissive, the final settlement may not be fair.
  • Fuel feelings. Mediation might increase negative habits of a spouse with a tendency for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples typically find out about the marvels of mediation and how it is apparently a better, less contentious, cheaper and more “dignified” method to get a divorce. However, my biggest issue with mediation is that the sole function and objective of the mediator is to get the celebrations to come to an arrangement– any agreement! Remember, the conciliator can not offer any advice. All they can do is attempt to get you to agree. Unfortunately, not all agreements are good arrangements, and in fact, in a lot of cases, no agreement is better than a bad arrangement. Unless both celebrations can be relatively sensible and friendly (and if they can be, why are they getting divorced???), I think that mediation is generally not a viable option for the majority of ladies.

Collaborative Divorce

Basically, collaborative divorce happens when a couple agrees to exercise a divorce settlement without litigating.

During a collaborative divorce both you and your hubby will each hire an attorney who has actually been trained in the collective divorce process. The function of the lawyers in a collaborative divorce is quite different than in a traditional divorce.

In the collective process, you, your husband and your particular lawyers all need to sign an arrangement that requires that both lawyers withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if lawsuits is threatened. If this occurs, both you and your other half must start all over again and find brand-new attorneys. Neither celebration can use the exact same attorneys again!

Even if the collective procedure is successful, you will typically have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the arrangement. However the legal process can be much quicker and more economical than traditional lawsuits if the collective procedure works.

However, I have actually found that the collective method often doesn’t work well to settle divorces involving complicated financial scenarios or when there are significant possessions. In collective divorce, simply as in mediation, all monetary details (income, possessions and liabilities) is divulged voluntarily. What’s more, numerous high net worth divorces involve companies and professional practices where it is relatively simple to hide properties and income.

… as a general guideline, my recommendation is this:

Do NOT use any of these first three choices– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You believe your hubby is hiding assets/income.
  • Your partner is prideful, and you have problem speaking up or you’re afraid to voice your opinions.
  • There is a history or threat of domestic violence (physical and/or psychological) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your other half has a drug/alcohol addiction.

Litigated Divorce

The fourth divorce alternative is the most common. Nowadays, most of divorcing couples select the “conventional” model of litigated divorce.

Bear in mind, though, “litigated” does not imply the divorce winds up in court. The large majority of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement contract. “Litigation” is a legal term meaning ‘performing a claim.’

In 80 percent of cases, the decision to divorce is unilateral– one celebration wants the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, develops an adversarial scenario right from the start and often disqualifies mediation and collaborative divorce, given that both approaches rely on the full cooperation of both celebrations and the voluntary disclosure of all financial info.

Clearly, if you are beginning with an adversarial and highly emotionally charged scenario, the opportunities are really high that collaboration or mediation might fail. Why take the threat of going those routes when odds are they might fail, squandering your money and time?

The most important and most challenging parts of any divorce are concerning a contract on kid custody, division of properties and liabilities and alimony payments (just how much and for for how long). Although you want your lawyer to be a highly competent arbitrator, you do not desire somebody who is excessively combative, ready to combat over anything and everything. An excessively controversial method will not just lengthen the discomfort and significantly increase your legal charges, it will also be mentally destructive to everyone involved, especially the children.

Remember: Most divorce lawyers (or a minimum of the ones I would advise) will constantly strive to come to a sensible settlement with the other celebration. But if they can’t pertain to a reasonable settlement or if the other celebration is entirely unreasonable then, regrettably, going to court, or threatening to do so, might be the only method to fix these problems.

If you have tried everything else, and you do end up in court, things can get truly nasty and hostile. Up till that point both lawyers were “arbitrators,” attempting to get the parties to compromise and pertain to some sensible resolution. Once in court, the function of each lawyer modifications. Settlements and compromise transfer to the back burner. Their brand-new task is to “win” and get the best possible outcome for their customer.

And do not forget, when you remain in court, it’s a judge who knows very little about you and your family that will make the final decisions about your children, your home, your money and how you live your life. That’s a very big risk for both parties to take– which’s also why the risk of going to court is usually such a good deterrent.

Here’s my last word of advice about divorce options: Weigh divorce choices carefully. The bottom line is that every family, and every divorce, is various. Certainly, if you have the ability to deal with your partner to make decisions and both of you are sincere and affordable, then mediation or the collective method might be best. If you have doubts, it is excellent to be prepared with “Strategy B” which would be the litigated divorce.

[su_heading]Related Articles[/su_heading]

[su_heading]Solent Family Mediation Important Links[/su_heading]

Back to Top