Can you decline family mediation? – Solent Family Mediation


Solent Family Mediation help families in conflict, particularly those divorcing or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-efficient than heading to court. It minimizes conflict, and your family remains in control of arrangements over children, residential or commercial property and financing.

We work right throughout England and Wales and our family mediation service has over thirty years’ experience offering expert, expert family mediation services.

[su_button url=”” style=”3d” size=”4″ wide=”yes”]Arrange a Call Back[/su_button]

The 4 Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No two marriages are the same, therefore it only follows that no 2 divorces will be the same, either.

If you’re a woman who’s contemplating divorce, you have numerous options about how to continue. In general terms, you require to consider four broad classifications of divorce options: Do-It-Yourself (Do It Yourself), Mediation, Collaborative and Lawsuits. Let’s take a look at the benefits and drawbacks of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best recommendations I can offer you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

The only circumstance I can visualize when a Diy divorce may make any possible sense, may be in a case where the marriage lasted just two or three years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, similar incomes and no spousal support. In a case like that, a Do-It-Yourself divorce could be accomplished rather rapidly and inexpensively.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple works with a neutral mediator who helps both parties come to a contract on all aspects of their divorce. The conciliator might or may not be an attorney, however he/she needs to be exceptionally skilled in divorce and family law. In addition, it is important for the conciliator to be neutral and not advocate for either celebration. Both celebrations still need to seek advice from their own, individual attorneys throughout the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement agreement.

Here are a couple of advantages and disadvantages to consider prior to choosing if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Result in a better long-term relationship with your ex-husband considering that you will not “battle” in court.
  • Be much easier on kids given that the divorce proceedings might be more serene.
  • Accelerate an arrangement.
  • Reduce costs.
  • Assist you remain in control of your divorce due to the fact that you are making the decisions (and the court isn’t).
  • Enable more discretion. Mediation is personal; litigated divorce is public.

Nevertheless, on the “con” side, divorce mediation might likewise:

  • Waste time and cash. If settlements stop working, you’ll require to start all over.
  • Be incomplete or unduly beneficial to one partner. If the mediator is unskilled or prejudiced towards your hubby, the result could be unfavorable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable agreement. A mediation agreement that’s lopsided or badly prepared can be challenged.
  • Result in legal problems. Any concern of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to uncover particular possessions. Considering that all financial info is voluntarily revealed and there is no subpoena of records, your hubby might possibly conceal assets/income.
  • Strengthen unhealthy behavior patterns. If one spouse is controling and the other is submissive, the final settlement may not be reasonable.
  • Fuel feelings. Mediation might increase negative habits of a spouse with a tendency for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples typically hear about the wonders of mediation and how it is supposedly a better, less controversial, more economical and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. However, my biggest problem with mediation is that the sole function and goal of the arbitrator is to get the celebrations to come to an arrangement– any contract! Keep in mind, the conciliator can not provide any recommendations. All they can do is try to get you to agree. Not all agreements are great agreements, and in fact, in lots of cases, no arrangement is much better than a bad contract. So unless both parties can be fairly reasonable and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting divorced???), I believe that mediation is typically not a viable alternative for the majority of females.

Collaborative Divorce

Put simply, collaborative divorce takes place when a couple consents to exercise a divorce settlement without going to court.

Throughout a collaborative divorce both you and your husband will each employ an attorney who has actually been trained in the collective divorce process. The function of the lawyers in a collaborative divorce is rather various than in a conventional divorce. Each lawyer recommends and assists their client in working out a settlement arrangement. You will meet your attorney independently and you and your attorney will also consult with your husband and his attorney. The collective procedure might also involve other neutral specialists such as a divorce financial organizer who will help both of you overcome your financial concerns and a coach or therapist who can help guide both of you through child custody and other mentally charged issues.

In the collective procedure, you, your hubby and your respective attorneys all must sign an arrangement that requires that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if lawsuits is threatened. If this occurs, both you and your partner need to begin all over once again and discover brand-new attorneys. Neither party can utilize the very same attorneys once again!

Even if the collective procedure is successful, you will usually need to appear in family court so a judge can sign the arrangement. But the legal process can be much quicker and less expensive than conventional lawsuits if the collaborative process works.

Though, I have discovered that the collective technique often doesn’t work well to settle divorces involving complicated financial situations or when there are substantial assets. In collective divorce, just as in mediation, all monetary details (income, properties and liabilities) is divulged willingly. What’s more, lots of high net worth divorces include businesses and professional practices where it is fairly simple to hide properties and income.

… as a basic guideline, my recommendation is this:

Do NOT use any of these first three choices– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You think your other half is concealing assets/income.
  • Your hubby is imperious, and you have problem speaking up or you hesitate to voice your viewpoints.
  • There is a history or risk of domestic violence (physical and/or psychological) towards you and/or your children.
  • You or your hubby has a drug/alcohol dependency.

Litigated Divorce

The 4th divorce option is the most common. These days, most of separating couples pick the “conventional” design of prosecuted divorce.

Bear in mind, however, “litigated” does not mean the divorce ends up in court. The vast majority of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement contract. “Litigation” is a legal term meaning ‘performing a claim.’

In 80 percent of cases, the choice to divorce is unilateral– one party desires the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, develops an adversarial circumstance right from the start and typically disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, since both techniques rely on the full cooperation of both parties and the voluntary disclosure of all financial information.

Clearly, if you are starting with an adversarial and extremely emotionally charged situation, the opportunities are really high that cooperation or mediation might stop working. Why take the threat of going those routes when chances are they might stop working, wasting your time and money?

The most crucial and most hard parts of any divorce are pertaining to a contract on child custody, division of assets and liabilities and spousal support payments (how much and for how long). Although you desire your lawyer to be an extremely experienced mediator, you do not want somebody who is overly combative, all set to eliminate over anything and whatever. An overly contentious technique will not only lengthen the discomfort and substantially increase your legal costs, it will also be emotionally harmful to everyone included, specifically the children.

Keep in mind: Many divorce attorneys (or a minimum of the ones I would recommend) will constantly aim to come to an affordable settlement with the other celebration. If they can’t come to a sensible settlement or if the other party is entirely unreasonable then, sadly, going to court, or threatening to do so, may be the only method to solve these issues.

Up up until that point both attorneys were “arbitrators,” trying to get the parties to compromise and come to some sensible resolution. When in court, the role of each lawyer changes.

And don’t forget, once you remain in court, it’s a judge who knows very little about you and your family that will make the final decisions about your kids, your home, your money and how you live your life. That’s a huge risk for both parties to take– which’s likewise why the danger of litigating is normally such a great deterrent.

Here’s my last word of suggestions about divorce options: Weigh divorce alternatives thoroughly. If you have doubts, it is great to be prepared with “Strategy B” which would be the litigated divorce.

[su_heading]Related Articles[/su_heading]

[su_heading]Solent Family Mediation Important Links[/su_heading]

Back to Top