Solent Family Mediation help families in conflict, particularly those separating or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-effective than heading to court. It minimizes conflict, and your family stays in control of plans over children, residential or commercial property and financing.

We work right across England and Wales and our family mediation service has over 30 years’ experience supplying professional, professional family mediation services.

[su_button url=”” style=”3d” size=”4″ wide=”yes”]Arrange a Call Back[/su_button]

The Four Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No 2 marital relationships are the same, and so it only follows that no 2 divorces will be the same, either.

If you’re a lady who’s considering divorce, you have numerous choices about how to continue. In general terms, you need to consider four broad categories of divorce alternatives: Do-It-Yourself (DIY), Mediation, Collaborative and Litigation. Let’s take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best recommendations I can provide you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

Divorce is really complicated, both lawfully and financially. You can quickly make errors, and often those errors are irreversible. The only circumstance I can imagine when a Do-It-Yourself divorce might make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marital relationship lasted just two or 3 years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, similar incomes and no spousal support. In a case like that, a Diy divorce could be achieved rather quickly and cheaply. Nonetheless, I would still highly advise that each party have their own different lawyer evaluation the final files.


In divorce mediation, a separating couple works with a neutral arbitrator who assists both parties come to an arrangement on all aspects of their divorce. Both parties still need to seek advice from with their own, specific lawyers throughout the mediation and prior to signing the last divorce settlement contract.

Here are a few pros and cons to think about prior to choosing if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation might:

  • Lead to a better long-lasting relationship with your ex-husband because you will not “battle” in court.
  • Be much easier on kids since the divorce proceedings might be more tranquil.
  • Accelerate an arrangement.
  • Reduce expenses.
  • Help you remain in control of your divorce due to the fact that you are making the decisions (and the court isn’t).
  • Allow for more discretion. Mediation is private; litigated divorce is public.

However, on the “con” side, divorce mediation might likewise:

  • Waste time and cash. If settlements fail, you’ll need to begin all over.
  • Be incomplete or unduly beneficial to one partner. If the arbitrator is unskilled or prejudiced towards your hubby, the result could be undesirable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable arrangement. A mediation arrangement that’s uneven or badly prepared can be challenged.
  • Result in legal problems. Any issue of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to discover particular properties. Because all financial info is voluntarily revealed and there is no subpoena of records, your other half might potentially conceal assets/income.
  • Strengthen unhealthy habits patterns. If one partner is dominating and the other is submissive, the last settlement may not be fair.
  • Fuel feelings. Mediation could increase unfavorable behavior of a partner with a tendency for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples frequently hear about the marvels of mediation and how it is reportedly a much better, less controversial, less expensive and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My biggest issue with mediation is that the sole function and objective of the mediator is to get the celebrations to come to a contract– any contract! Unless both celebrations can be relatively sensible and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting separated???), I think that mediation is generally not a viable choice for the majority of women.

Collective Divorce

Simply put, collaborative divorce happens when a couple accepts work out a divorce settlement without litigating.

Throughout a collective divorce both you and your husband will each employ a lawyer who has been trained in the collaborative divorce procedure. The role of the attorneys in a collective divorce is quite various than in a conventional divorce.

In the collaborative procedure, you, your spouse and your particular lawyers all should sign a contract that requires that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if lawsuits is threatened. If this takes place, both you and your partner should start all over again and find new attorneys. Neither celebration can use the same attorneys again!

Even if the collective process is successful, you will usually need to appear in family court so a judge can sign the contract. However the legal process can be much quicker and less expensive than traditional lawsuits if the collaborative process works.

However, I have discovered that the collective technique frequently doesn’t work well to settle divorces involving complex financial situations or when there are considerable possessions. In collective divorce, just as in mediation, all financial details (income, properties and liabilities) is revealed voluntarily. Frequently the hubby controls the “handbag strings,” and the wife is generally unaware of the information of their financial circumstance. When this kind of inequality exists, the door is typically wide open for the other half to conceal properties. What’s more, many high net worth divorces involve businesses and professional practices where it is reasonably easy to conceal properties and earnings. Additionally, the concern of appraisal can be quite contentious.

… as a general guideline, my recommendation is this:

Do NOT use any of these very first three choices– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You believe your partner is concealing assets/income.
  • Your spouse is prideful, and you have problem speaking up or you’re afraid to voice your opinions.
  • There is a history or hazard of domestic violence (physical and/or psychological) towards you and/or your children.
  • You or your spouse has a drug/alcohol dependency.

Litigated Divorce

The 4th divorce alternative is the most typical. Nowadays, most of divorcing couples select the “traditional” model of prosecuted divorce.

Remember, though, “prosecuted” does not suggest the divorce winds up in court. The large majority of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement agreement. “Lawsuits” is a legal term significance ‘performing a claim.’

Why are claims a part of divorce? Because contrary to popular belief, divorce normally does not include two individuals equally accepting end their marriage. In 80 percent of cases, the decision to divorce is unilateral– one celebration desires the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, creates an adversarial situation right from the start and frequently disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, considering that both techniques rely on the complete cooperation of both celebrations and the voluntary disclosure of all monetary info.

Clearly, if you are starting out with an adversarial and highly mentally charged circumstance, the possibilities are really high that partnership or mediation may stop working. Why take the risk of going those routes when odds are they might stop working, squandering your time and money?

The most important and most tough parts of any divorce are pertaining to an agreement on child custody, department of properties and liabilities and spousal support payments (how much and for how long). Although you want your attorney to be an extremely competent mediator, you do not want someone who is overly combative, ready to fight over anything and everything. An overly contentious technique will not just lengthen the pain and substantially increase your legal costs, it will likewise be emotionally harmful to everyone involved, especially the kids.

Remember: A lot of divorce attorneys (or a minimum of the ones I would suggest) will constantly strive to come to a reasonable settlement with the other celebration. If they can’t come to a reasonable settlement or if the other celebration is completely unreasonable then, sadly, going to court, or threatening to do so, might be the only method to deal with these concerns.

Up until that point both lawyers were “negotiators,” attempting to get the celebrations to compromise and come to some sensible resolution. As soon as in court, the function of each attorney changes.

And do not forget, when you’re in court, it’s a judge who understands very little about you and your family that will make the decisions about your kids, your residential or commercial property, your cash and how you live your life. That’s a very big danger for both celebrations to take– which’s also why the danger of going to court is generally such a good deterrent.

Here’s my last word of guidance about divorce options: Weigh divorce alternatives carefully. If you have doubts, it is great to be ready with “Plan B” which would be the prosecuted divorce.

[su_heading]Related Articles[/su_heading]

[su_heading]Solent Family Mediation Important Links[/su_heading]