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Solent Family Mediation help families in conflict, specifically those divorcing or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-effective than heading to court. It lowers conflict, and your household stays in control of arrangements over children, home and finance.

We work right throughout England and Wales and our family mediation service has more than 30 years’ experience providing expert, professional family mediation services.

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The 4 Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No 2 marriages are the same, therefore it just follows that no two divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a female who’s considering divorce, you have several options about how to continue. In general terms, you require to think about 4 broad classifications of divorce options: Do-It-Yourself (DIY), Mediation, Collaborative and Litigation. Let’s take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of every one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best advice I can provide you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

The only situation I can envision when a Diy divorce may make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marriage lasted only 2 or three years and there are no children, little or no assets/debts to be divided, similar earnings and no spousal support. In a case like that, a Do-It-Yourself divorce could be achieved rather rapidly and inexpensively.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple works with a neutral arbitrator who helps both parties come to an arrangement on all elements of their divorce. Both parties still require to seek advice from with their own, specific lawyers during the mediation and prior to signing the last divorce settlement arrangement.

Here are a few advantages and disadvantages to consider before choosing if mediation will work for you.

On the “professional” side, divorce mediation might:

  • Lead to a better long-term relationship with your ex-husband since you will not “battle” in court.
  • Be simpler on kids since the divorce proceedings might be more tranquil.
  • Expedite a contract.
  • Reduce expenses.
  • Assist you stay in control of your divorce because you are making the decisions (and the court isn’t).
  • Allow for more discretion. Mediation is personal; prosecuted divorce is public.

However, on the “con” side, divorce mediation might likewise:

  • Waste time and money. If negotiations fail, you’ll require to begin all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly beneficial to one spouse. If the mediator is unskilled or biased towards your hubby, the result could be undesirable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable contract. A mediation arrangement that’s uneven or inadequately drafted can be challenged.
  • Lead to legal complications. Any issue of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to uncover certain assets. Given that all monetary details is voluntarily divulged and there is no subpoena of records, your hubby might possibly conceal assets/income.
  • Reinforce unhealthy habits patterns. If one partner is dominating and the other is submissive, the final settlement might not be fair.
  • Fuel emotions. Mediation might increase negative behavior of a partner with a propensity for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples typically hear about the marvels of mediation and how it is supposedly a much better, less contentious, less costly and more “dignified” method to get a divorce. However, my most significant problem with mediation is that the sole function and objective of the conciliator is to get the parties to come to an arrangement– any arrangement! Keep in mind, the arbitrator can not give any recommendations. All they can do is attempt to get you to agree. Not all arrangements are excellent contracts, and in fact, in lots of cases, no arrangement is much better than a bad arrangement. Unless both celebrations can be fairly sensible and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting divorced???), I think that mediation is typically not a viable alternative for a lot of ladies.

Collective Divorce

Basically, collaborative divorce occurs when a couple agrees to work out a divorce settlement without litigating.

During a collaborative divorce both you and your other half will each work with an attorney who has been trained in the collective divorce procedure. The role of the attorneys in a collective divorce is rather different than in a traditional divorce.

In the collaborative procedure, you, your husband and your respective attorneys all need to sign an arrangement that needs that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if lawsuits is threatened. If this happens, both you and your hubby need to start all over again and discover new attorneys. Neither party can use the very same lawyers once again!

Even if the collaborative process succeeds, you will typically have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the contract. But the legal process can be much quicker and less costly than conventional lawsuits if the collective procedure works.

Though, I have actually found that the collective technique often does not work well to settle divorces including complex monetary scenarios or when there are substantial properties. In collective divorce, simply as in mediation, all monetary info (income, assets and liabilities) is revealed voluntarily. What’s more, many high net worth divorces include businesses and professional practices where it is reasonably simple to conceal properties and earnings.

So … as a general guideline, my suggestion is this:

Do NOT use any of these first three options– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You think your spouse is hiding assets/income.
  • Your hubby is prideful, and you have trouble speaking up or you hesitate to voice your viewpoints.
  • There is a history or risk of domestic violence (physical and/or mental) towards you and/or your children.
  • You or your husband has a drug/alcohol addiction.

Litigated Divorce

The fourth divorce choice is the most typical. Nowadays, most of divorcing couples pick the “standard” model of litigated divorce.

Bear in mind, though, “litigated” does not imply the divorce ends up in court. In fact, the huge majority of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement agreement. “Litigation” is a legal term significance ‘performing a suit.’

Why are suits a part of divorce? Since contrary to common belief, divorce typically does not include two people equally agreeing to end their marital relationship. In 80 percent of cases, the choice to divorce is unilateral– one party wants the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, develops an adversarial situation right from the start and frequently disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, given that both methods depend on the complete cooperation of both parties and the voluntary disclosure of all financial information.

Clearly, if you are starting with an adversarial and highly emotionally charged scenario, the possibilities are extremely high that partnership or mediation may stop working. Why take the risk of going those routes when odds are they might stop working, losing your money and time?

The most important and most challenging parts of any divorce are pertaining to an arrangement on kid custody, division of properties and liabilities and spousal support payments (just how much and for how long). Although you desire your lawyer to be a highly knowledgeable negotiator, you don’t want somebody who is extremely combative, all set to combat over anything and whatever. An extremely controversial method will not only extend the pain and significantly increase your legal fees, it will likewise be emotionally detrimental to everybody involved, specifically the children.

Remember: A lot of divorce attorneys (or a minimum of the ones I would advise) will always strive to come to a reasonable settlement with the other celebration. But if they can’t come to a sensible settlement or if the other celebration is entirely unreasonable then, regrettably, going to court, or threatening to do so, might be the only way to fix these problems.

Up until that point both lawyers were “mediators,” trying to get the celebrations to jeopardize and come to some sensible resolution. Once in court, the role of each lawyer modifications.

And don’t forget, once you remain in court, it’s a judge who understands very little about you and your family that will make the decisions about your kids, your home, your cash and how you live your life. That’s a huge danger for both parties to take– which’s also why the hazard of litigating is normally such an excellent deterrent.

Here’s my last word of suggestions about divorce alternatives: Weigh divorce options thoroughly. The bottom line is that every family, and every divorce, is different. Clearly, if you have the ability to deal with your other half to make decisions and both of you are sincere and reasonable, then mediation or the collective technique might be best. If you have doubts, it is excellent to be prepared with “Plan B” which would be the litigated divorce.

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