How much does it cost to moderate a divorce? – Solent Family Mediation


Solent Family Mediation help households in conflict, specifically those divorcing or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-effective than heading to court. It reduces dispute, and your family stays in control of arrangements over children, residential or commercial property and financing.

We work right across England and Wales and our family mediation service has over 30 years’ experience offering professional, professional family mediation services.

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The Four Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No two marital relationships are the same, therefore it only follows that no 2 divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a female who’s contemplating divorce, you have numerous alternatives about how to continue. In general terms, you require to think about 4 broad categories of divorce options: Do-It-Yourself (Do It Yourself), Mediation, Collaborative and Lawsuits. Let’s take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The best suggestions I can give you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

Divorce is really complicated, both legally and financially. You can easily make errors, and frequently those mistakes are irreversible. The only scenario I can imagine when a Diy divorce may make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marriage lasted only 2 or three years and there are no children, little or no assets/debts to be divided, comparable incomes and no alimony. In a case like that, a Do-It-Yourself divorce could be achieved quite rapidly and cheaply. I would still highly recommend that each celebration have their own different attorney evaluation the final files.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple works with a neutral conciliator who helps both parties come to an agreement on all aspects of their divorce. Both parties still need to seek advice from with their own, private lawyers throughout the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement contract.

Here are a couple of advantages and disadvantages to think about prior to deciding if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lead to a better long-lasting relationship with your ex-husband since you will not “combat” in court.
  • Be much easier on children given that the divorce proceedings may be more serene.
  • Accelerate an arrangement.
  • Reduce expenditures.
  • Help you stay in control of your divorce due to the fact that you are making the decisions (and the court isn’t).
  • Allow for more discretion. Mediation is private; prosecuted divorce is public.

Nevertheless, on the “con” side, divorce mediation might also:

  • Lose time and money. If negotiations stop working, you’ll need to start all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly favorable to one spouse. If the conciliator is unskilled or prejudiced towards your hubby, the outcome could be undesirable for you.
  • Lead to an unenforceable arrangement. A mediation arrangement that’s uneven or improperly drafted can be challenged.
  • Lead to legal issues. Any issue of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to reveal certain possessions. Given that all financial info is willingly divulged and there is no subpoena of records, your husband might potentially conceal assets/income.
  • Reinforce unhealthy behavior patterns. If one spouse is controling and the other is submissive, the last settlement may not be reasonable.
  • Fuel feelings. Mediation might increase negative habits of a spouse with a propensity for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples often hear about the marvels of mediation and how it is reportedly a better, less controversial, less costly and more “dignified” method to get a divorce. My most significant problem with mediation is that the sole role and goal of the arbitrator is to get the parties to come to an agreement– any agreement! Unless both celebrations can be relatively sensible and friendly (and if they can be, why are they getting separated???), I believe that mediation is usually not a feasible choice for many women.

Collective Divorce

Simply put, collaborative divorce occurs when a couple consents to exercise a divorce settlement without litigating.

During a collaborative divorce both you and your spouse will each hire a lawyer who has been trained in the collaborative divorce process. The role of the attorneys in a collaborative divorce is quite various than in a standard divorce.

In the collective procedure, you, your hubby and your particular attorneys all must sign an agreement that needs that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if lawsuits is threatened. If this happens, both you and your partner must start all over once again and discover new lawyers. Neither party can use the exact same attorneys again!

Even if the collaborative process achieves success, you will generally have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the arrangement. But the legal process can be much quicker and less expensive than traditional lawsuits if the collective procedure works.

Unfortunately, though, I have actually found that the collaborative technique typically does not work well to settle divorces involving complicated financial circumstances or when there are considerable possessions. In collaborative divorce, just as in mediation, all financial details (income, properties and liabilities) is disclosed voluntarily. Often the spouse controls the “handbag strings,” and the other half is generally unaware of the information of their financial scenario. When this sort of inequality exists, the door is typically wide open for the partner to hide assets. What’s more, numerous high net worth divorces include organizations and professional practices where it is reasonably easy to hide assets and earnings. Additionally, the concern of valuation can be quite controversial.

… as a general guideline, my recommendation is this:

Do NOT utilize any of these very first three choices– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You presume your spouse is hiding assets/income.
  • Your husband is imperious, and you have difficulty speaking up or you’re afraid to voice your viewpoints.
  • There is a history or threat of domestic violence (physical and/or psychological) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your husband has a drug/alcohol addiction.

Litigated Divorce

The fourth divorce alternative is the most typical. Nowadays, the majority of separating couples pick the “conventional” model of prosecuted divorce.

Remember, though, “prosecuted” does not mean the divorce winds up in court. The large bulk of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement arrangement. “Litigation” is a legal term significance ‘carrying out a lawsuit.’

Why are claims a part of divorce? Due to the fact that contrary to common belief, divorce generally does not include two individuals mutually consenting to end their marital relationship. In 80 percent of cases, the choice to divorce is unilateral– one party desires the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, develops an adversarial scenario right from the start and typically disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, because both methods rely on the full cooperation of both parties and the voluntary disclosure of all monetary details.

Plainly, if you are beginning with an adversarial and extremely emotionally charged situation, the chances are really high that collaboration or mediation might fail. Why take the threat of going those routes when odds are they might fail, wasting your money and time?

The most important and most tough parts of any divorce are concerning a contract on child custody, division of properties and liabilities and alimony payments (just how much and for the length of time). You want your lawyer to be a highly knowledgeable mediator, you don’t want somebody who is extremely combative, ready to combat over anything and whatever. An excessively controversial method will not only prolong the pain and substantially increase your legal charges, it will also be emotionally damaging to everybody included, particularly the children.

Keep in mind: Many divorce attorneys (or at least the ones I would advise) will always aim to come to a sensible settlement with the other celebration. If they can’t come to a sensible settlement or if the other party is entirely unreasonable then, regrettably, going to court, or threatening to do so, might be the only method to fix these issues.

If you have actually tried everything else, and you do end up in court, things can get actually nasty and hostile. Up up until that point both attorneys were “negotiators,” attempting to get the parties to jeopardize and come to some reasonable resolution. Once in court, the function of each lawyer changes. Settlements and compromise transfer to the back burner. Their new task is to “win” and get the very best possible outcome for their customer.

And don’t forget, as soon as you’re in court, it’s a judge who knows extremely little about you and your family that will make the decisions about your children, your home, your money and how you live your life. That’s a huge risk for both celebrations to take– which’s likewise why the threat of going to court is normally such an excellent deterrent.

Here’s my last word of guidance about divorce alternatives: Weigh divorce alternatives carefully. The bottom line is that every family, and every divorce, is various. Obviously, if you have the ability to deal with your other half to make decisions and both of you are truthful and sensible, then mediation or the collaborative technique might be best. But, if you have doubts, it is excellent to be all set with “Plan B” which would be the litigated divorce.

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