What are the five stages of mediation? – Solent Family Mediation

Family mediation

During mediation an independent, expertly trained arbitrator helps you and your ex-partner work out a contract about problems such as:

plans for kids after you separate (sometimes called house or contact);.

  • child upkeep payments.
  • financial resources (for instance, what to do with your house, savings, pension, financial obligations)

[su_button url=”https://solentfamilymediation.co.uk/contact-us” style=”3d” size=”4″ wide=”yes”]Arrange a Call Back[/su_button]

The 4 Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No two marital relationships are the same, and so it just follows that no two divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a woman who’s contemplating divorce, you have numerous choices about how to proceed. In general terms, you need to consider 4 broad categories of divorce options: Do-It-Yourself (DIY), Mediation, Collaborative and Lawsuits. Let’s have a look at the benefits and drawbacks of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The best recommendations I can offer you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

Divorce is really complicated, both lawfully and economically. You can quickly make errors, and often those errors are irreparable. The only situation I can picture when a Do-It-Yourself divorce might make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marital relationship lasted just two or 3 years and there are no children, little or no assets/debts to be divided, equivalent incomes and no spousal support. In a case like that, a Diy divorce could be accomplished quite quickly and inexpensively. I would still highly suggest that each party have their own different lawyer evaluation the final documents.


In divorce mediation, a separating couple deals with a neutral conciliator who assists both parties concern a contract on all aspects of their divorce. The conciliator may or might not be a lawyer, however he/she must be very well-versed in divorce and family law. In addition, it is vital for the arbitrator to be neutral and not promote for either celebration. Both celebrations still need to talk to their own, individual attorneys during the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement agreement.

Here are a few advantages and disadvantages to think about before deciding if mediation will work for you.

On the “professional” side, divorce mediation might:

  • Result in a much better long-lasting relationship with your ex-husband because you will not “combat” in court.
  • Be easier on children since the divorce proceedings might be more peaceful.
  • Speed up an arrangement.
  • Reduce expenditures.
  • Assist you remain in control of your divorce since you are deciding (and the court isn’t).
  • Enable more discretion. Mediation is private; prosecuted divorce is public.

On the “con” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lose time and money. If negotiations fail, you’ll need to start all over.
  • Be incomplete or unduly beneficial to one partner. If the arbitrator is unskilled or prejudiced towards your other half, the outcome could be undesirable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable agreement. A mediation arrangement that’s uneven or inadequately prepared can be challenged.
  • Lead to legal issues. Any concern of law will still require to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to uncover particular assets. Considering that all monetary info is voluntarily divulged and there is no subpoena of records, your other half might possibly conceal assets/income.
  • Reinforce unhealthy habits patterns. If one spouse is dominating and the other is submissive, the last settlement may not be reasonable.
  • Fuel emotions. Mediation could increase unfavorable habits of a spouse with a tendency for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples often become aware of the wonders of mediation and how it is apparently a much better, less contentious, less expensive and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My greatest problem with mediation is that the sole role and goal of the conciliator is to get the celebrations to come to an arrangement– any agreement! Keep in mind, the mediator can not give any guidance. All they can do is try to get you to concur. Not all contracts are excellent contracts, and in reality, in many cases, no agreement is much better than a bad arrangement. So unless both celebrations can be fairly reasonable and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting divorced???), I think that mediation is typically not a practical choice for a lot of ladies.

Collective Divorce

Simply put, collaborative divorce occurs when a couple agrees to work out a divorce settlement without going to court.

Throughout a collaborative divorce both you and your spouse will each employ a lawyer who has been trained in the collaborative divorce procedure. The role of the lawyers in a collaborative divorce is rather different than in a traditional divorce. Each attorney advises and assists their customer in negotiating a settlement arrangement. You will meet your lawyer separately and you and your lawyer will also meet your spouse and his lawyer. The collective process may also involve other neutral specialists such as a divorce financial coordinator who will help both of you resolve your monetary issues and a coach or therapist who can assist direct both of you through kid custody and other mentally charged problems.

In the collective procedure, you, your hubby and your particular attorneys all need to sign a contract that requires that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if litigation is threatened. If this happens, both you and your spouse need to begin all over once again and find new lawyers. Neither celebration can utilize the very same lawyers again!

Even if the collective process achieves success, you will generally have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the contract. But the legal process can be much quicker and more economical than standard lawsuits if the collaborative procedure works.

Regrettably, however, I have actually found that the collective method typically doesn’t work well to settle divorces involving complex financial scenarios or when there are substantial assets. In collaborative divorce, just as in mediation, all monetary details (income, possessions and liabilities) is divulged voluntarily. Often the partner manages the “purse strings,” and the wife is normally unaware of the details of their monetary situation. When this sort of inequality exists, the door is frequently wide open for the hubby to conceal possessions. What’s more, numerous high net worth divorces involve companies and professional practices where it is fairly simple to hide assets and income. Additionally, the issue of valuation can be quite contentious.

So … as a basic rule, my suggestion is this:

Do NOT utilize any of these very first 3 choices– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You suspect your hubby is concealing assets/income.
  • Your husband is domineering, and you have problem speaking up or you hesitate to voice your viewpoints.
  • There is a history or threat of domestic violence (physical and/or mental) towards you and/or your children.
  • You or your hubby has a drug/alcohol dependency.

Litigated Divorce

The fourth divorce choice is the most typical. Nowadays, most of separating couples select the “conventional” design of litigated divorce.

Remember, though, “litigated” does not suggest the divorce winds up in court. In fact, the huge majority of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement contract. “Lawsuits” is a legal term meaning ‘performing a suit.’

Why are claims a part of divorce? Since contrary to common belief, divorce normally does not involve 2 people mutually agreeing to end their marital relationship. In 80 percent of cases, the choice to divorce is unilateral– one celebration wants the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, creates an adversarial situation right from the start and frequently disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, since both methods count on the full cooperation of both celebrations and the voluntary disclosure of all financial info.

Clearly, if you are starting out with an adversarial and extremely emotionally charged situation, the possibilities are very high that partnership or mediation might stop working. Why take the threat of going those paths when odds are they might fail, losing your money and time?

The most crucial and most tough parts of any divorce are pertaining to an agreement on child custody, division of possessions and liabilities and alimony payments (how much and for how long). You want your lawyer to be a highly proficient mediator, you don’t want somebody who is overly combative, all set to fight over anything and whatever. An extremely controversial method will not just lengthen the pain and considerably increase your legal costs, it will likewise be emotionally destructive to everyone involved, specifically the kids.

Keep in mind: A lot of divorce lawyers (or a minimum of the ones I would suggest) will constantly strive to come to a sensible settlement with the other celebration. But if they can’t come to an affordable settlement or if the other party is completely unreasonable then, unfortunately, going to court, or threatening to do so, might be the only method to solve these problems.

Up up until that point both lawyers were “negotiators,” attempting to get the celebrations to compromise and come to some sensible resolution. When in court, the role of each attorney modifications.

And don’t forget, once you remain in court, it’s a judge who knows extremely little about you and your family that will make the decisions about your children, your residential or commercial property, your cash and how you live your life. That’s a very big risk for both parties to take– and that’s also why the threat of litigating is typically such a great deterrent.

Here’s my last word of guidance about divorce alternatives: Weigh divorce alternatives thoroughly. If you have doubts, it is excellent to be ready with “Plan B” which would be the prosecuted divorce.

[su_heading]Related Articles[/su_heading]

[su_heading]Solent Family Mediation Important Links[/su_heading]

Back to Top