What happens if I don’t go to mediation UK?


Solent Family Mediation assist households in conflict, specifically those separating or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more economical than heading to court. It minimizes conflict, and your family remains in control of plans over children, residential or commercial property and financing.

We work right across England and Wales and our family mediation service has more than thirty years’ experience offering specialist, professional family mediation services.

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The Four Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No two marital relationships are the same, therefore it just follows that no 2 divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a lady who’s pondering divorce, you have several alternatives about how to continue. In general terms, you need to think about four broad classifications of divorce alternatives: Do-It-Yourself (Do It Yourself), Mediation, Collaborative and Lawsuits. Let’s have a look at the advantages and disadvantages of every one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best guidance I can provide you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

The only circumstance I can picture when a Diy divorce might make any possible sense, may be in a case where the marital relationship lasted only 2 or 3 years and there are no children, little or no assets/debts to be divided, similar earnings and no spousal support. In a case like that, a Diy divorce might be accomplished quite rapidly and inexpensively.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple works with a neutral mediator who assists both celebrations concern an agreement on all elements of their divorce. The arbitrator may or may not be an attorney, however he/she needs to be exceptionally well-versed in divorce and family law. In addition, it is vital for the mediator to be neutral and not advocate for either party. Both celebrations still require to speak with their own, private attorneys during the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement agreement.

Here are a couple of benefits and drawbacks to think about before deciding if mediation will work for you.

On the “professional” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lead to a much better long-lasting relationship with your ex-husband given that you will not “fight” in court.
  • Be simpler on kids given that the divorce procedures may be more peaceful.
  • Speed up an arrangement.
  • Reduce expenditures.
  • Help you stay in control of your divorce due to the fact that you are making the decisions (and the court isn’t).
  • Permit more discretion. Mediation is personal; prosecuted divorce is public.

On the “con” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lose time and cash. If negotiations fail, you’ll require to start all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly beneficial to one spouse. If the arbitrator is unskilled or prejudiced towards your hubby, the outcome could be unfavorable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable contract. A mediation contract that’s lopsided or poorly prepared can be challenged.
  • Cause legal problems. Any issue of law will still require to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to discover particular assets. Because all financial information is willingly disclosed and there is no subpoena of records, your husband could possibly hide assets/income.
  • Reinforce unhealthy habits patterns. If one partner is controling and the other is submissive, the last settlement might not be fair.
  • Fuel emotions. Mediation might increase negative habits of a spouse with a propensity for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples frequently hear about the marvels of mediation and how it is apparently a better, less contentious, less pricey and more “dignified” method to get a divorce. My biggest problem with mediation is that the sole function and objective of the mediator is to get the celebrations to come to an arrangement– any arrangement! Unless both celebrations can be fairly reasonable and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting separated???), I think that mediation is typically not a practical option for most women.

Collective Divorce

Basically, collective divorce takes place when a couple consents to work out a divorce settlement without litigating.

During a collective divorce both you and your hubby will each hire an attorney who has been trained in the collective divorce procedure. The function of the lawyers in a collective divorce is rather different than in a standard divorce. Each attorney advises and helps their customer in negotiating a settlement agreement. You will meet your attorney independently and you and your lawyer will likewise meet with your spouse and his lawyer. The collaborative procedure may likewise involve other neutral specialists such as a divorce financial coordinator who will assist both of you resolve your financial problems and a coach or therapist who can assist direct both of you through child custody and other mentally charged concerns.

In the collaborative procedure, you, your other half and your particular lawyers all should sign a contract that needs that both lawyers withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if litigation is threatened. If this takes place, both you and your partner should start all over once again and discover new attorneys. Neither party can use the very same lawyers once again!

Even if the collective procedure is successful, you will usually have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the arrangement. But the legal process can be much quicker and cheaper than traditional litigation if the collective procedure works.

However, I have discovered that the collective technique often does not work well to settle divorces involving complex financial circumstances or when there are considerable assets. In collaborative divorce, just as in mediation, all financial details (income, assets and liabilities) is revealed willingly. What’s more, numerous high net worth divorces include services and professional practices where it is reasonably simple to conceal assets and income.

So … as a basic guideline, my suggestion is this:

Do NOT use any of these very first 3 options– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You believe your other half is concealing assets/income.
  • Your partner is imperious, and you have trouble speaking up or you hesitate to voice your viewpoints.
  • There is a history or danger of domestic violence (physical and/or mental) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your partner has a drug/alcohol addiction.

Litigated Divorce

The fourth divorce choice is the most typical. These days, the majority of divorcing couples choose the “standard” design of prosecuted divorce.

Remember, though, “prosecuted” does not indicate the divorce winds up in court. In fact, the large majority of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement agreement. “Litigation” is a legal term meaning ‘carrying out a suit.’

Why are suits a part of divorce? Since contrary to popular belief, divorce generally does not involve 2 people equally agreeing to end their marriage. In 80 percent of cases, the decision to divorce is unilateral– one party desires the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, creates an adversarial circumstance right from the start and often disqualifies mediation and collaborative divorce, since both approaches depend on the complete cooperation of both celebrations and the voluntary disclosure of all monetary info.

Clearly, if you are starting out with an adversarial and highly emotionally charged scenario, the opportunities are extremely high that collaboration or mediation may fail. Why take the risk of going those routes when odds are they might stop working, losing your time and money?

The most crucial and most challenging parts of any divorce are concerning an agreement on child custody, department of assets and liabilities and alimony payments (just how much and for how long). You want your lawyer to be an extremely knowledgeable negotiator, you do not desire somebody who is excessively combative, prepared to fight over anything and everything. An overly contentious technique will not just lengthen the discomfort and considerably increase your legal costs, it will likewise be mentally detrimental to everyone involved, specifically the children.

Keep in mind: The majority of divorce lawyers (or at least the ones I would advise) will always make every effort to come to an affordable settlement with the other celebration. If they can’t come to a reasonable settlement or if the other party is entirely unreasonable then, sadly, going to court, or threatening to do so, may be the only method to fix these problems.

Up up until that point both attorneys were “negotiators,” attempting to get the celebrations to jeopardize and come to some reasonable resolution. When in court, the role of each attorney modifications.

And do not forget, as soon as you’re in court, it’s a judge who knows extremely little about you and your family that will make the decisions about your kids, your property, your cash and how you live your life. That’s a very big danger for both parties to take– which’s likewise why the hazard of litigating is generally such an excellent deterrent.

Here’s my last word of recommendations about divorce options: Weigh divorce options carefully. The bottom line is that every family, and every divorce, is different. Clearly, if you have the ability to work with your hubby to make decisions and both of you are truthful and affordable, then mediation or the collective approach may be best. If you have doubts, it is good to be all set with “Strategy B” which would be the litigated divorce.

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