What questions does a mediator ask a child? – Solent Family Mediation

Solent Family Mediation assist families in conflict, particularly those separating or separating. Whatever the concerns, our know-how will help you settle them

[su_button url=”https://solentfamilymediation.co.uk/contact-us” style=”3d” size=”4″ wide=”yes”]Arrange a Call Back[/su_button]

The 4 Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No 2 marital relationships are the same, therefore it just follows that no 2 divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a lady who’s contemplating divorce, you have several choices about how to proceed. In general terms, you require to consider four broad categories of divorce options: Do-It-Yourself (Do It Yourself), Mediation, Collaborative and Litigation. Let’s take a look at the pros and cons of every one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The very best suggestions I can give you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

The only situation I can visualize when a Diy divorce might make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marital relationship lasted only 2 or 3 years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, similar earnings and no alimony. In a case like that, a Diy divorce could be achieved quite rapidly and inexpensively.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple works with a neutral mediator who helps both parties come to an agreement on all aspects of their divorce. Both celebrations still require to seek advice from with their own, specific lawyers during the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement agreement.

Here are a few pros and cons to consider prior to choosing if mediation will work for you.

On the “professional” side, divorce mediation might:

  • Lead to a much better long-term relationship with your ex-husband considering that you will not “fight” in court.
  • Be easier on kids considering that the divorce procedures may be more serene.
  • Speed up a contract.
  • Reduce expenditures.
  • Help you remain in control of your divorce because you are deciding (and the court isn’t).
  • Permit more discretion. Mediation is personal; prosecuted divorce is public.

However, on the “con” side, divorce mediation might also:

  • Lose time and cash. If negotiations stop working, you’ll need to start all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly favorable to one partner. If the arbitrator is unskilled or biased towards your hubby, the outcome could be undesirable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable agreement. A mediation agreement that’s uneven or poorly drafted can be challenged.
  • Lead to legal problems. Any concern of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to discover specific possessions. Given that all monetary information is voluntarily revealed and there is no subpoena of records, your partner could potentially conceal assets/income.
  • Strengthen unhealthy habits patterns. If one partner is dominating and the other is submissive, the final settlement may not be reasonable.
  • Fuel feelings. Mediation might increase negative behavior of a partner with a propensity for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples typically hear about the wonders of mediation and how it is reportedly a better, less contentious, less pricey and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. My greatest problem with mediation is that the sole role and objective of the arbitrator is to get the parties to come to an arrangement– any contract! Unless both celebrations can be fairly sensible and friendly (and if they can be, why are they getting divorced???), I think that mediation is typically not a viable option for the majority of ladies.

Collective Divorce

Simply put, collaborative divorce takes place when a couple consents to work out a divorce settlement without going to court.

During a collective divorce both you and your spouse will each work with an attorney who has actually been trained in the collective divorce process. The function of the attorneys in a collective divorce is rather various than in a standard divorce.

In the collective process, you, your partner and your particular attorneys all must sign a contract that requires that both lawyers withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if litigation is threatened. If this happens, both you and your partner must start all over once again and find new lawyers. Neither celebration can utilize the same attorneys once again!

Even if the collaborative process achieves success, you will usually have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the arrangement. The legal procedure can be much quicker and less costly than standard lawsuits if the collaborative process works.

However, I have actually discovered that the collective method often doesn’t work well to settle divorces including complicated financial situations or when there are significant possessions. In collaborative divorce, just as in mediation, all monetary details (income, properties and liabilities) is revealed willingly. Often the husband controls the “purse strings,” and the better half is typically unaware of the information of their financial circumstance. When this kind of inequality exists, the door is often wide open for the hubby to conceal properties. What’s more, numerous high net worth divorces include organizations and professional practices where it is relatively easy to hide possessions and income. In addition, the issue of valuation can be rather controversial.

So … as a general rule, my suggestion is this:

Do NOT use any of these first three choices– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You presume your partner is concealing assets/income.
  • Your husband is aggressive, and you have problem speaking out or you’re afraid to voice your opinions.
  • There is a history or hazard of domestic violence (physical and/or mental) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your hubby has a drug/alcohol addiction.

Litigated Divorce

The 4th divorce alternative is the most common. Nowadays, most of separating couples select the “traditional” design of prosecuted divorce.

Bear in mind, though, “litigated” does not mean the divorce winds up in court. The vast majority of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement arrangement. “Lawsuits” is a legal term significance ‘performing a claim.’

Why are claims a part of divorce? Since contrary to popular belief, divorce typically does not include two individuals mutually agreeing to end their marriage. In 80 percent of cases, the choice to divorce is unilateral– one party desires the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, produces an adversarial situation right from the start and typically disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, since both techniques depend on the full cooperation of both celebrations and the voluntary disclosure of all financial info.

Plainly, if you are beginning with an adversarial and highly emotionally charged scenario, the opportunities are really high that collaboration or mediation might stop working. Why take the threat of going those paths when chances are they might fail, wasting your time and money?

The most essential and most challenging parts of any divorce are concerning an agreement on kid custody, division of properties and liabilities and spousal support payments (just how much and for the length of time). Although you desire your lawyer to be a highly proficient negotiator, you do not desire somebody who is extremely combative, prepared to combat over anything and everything. An excessively controversial approach will not only extend the pain and significantly increase your legal charges, it will likewise be mentally destructive to everybody involved, especially the children.

Remember: Most divorce attorneys (or at least the ones I would advise) will constantly aim to come to a sensible settlement with the other party. But if they can’t pertain to a reasonable settlement or if the other celebration is entirely unreasonable then, sadly, litigating, or threatening to do so, might be the only way to solve these concerns.

If you have attempted whatever else, and you do wind up in court, things can get really nasty and hostile. Up up until that point both attorneys were “mediators,” attempting to get the parties to jeopardize and pertain to some reasonable resolution. Once in court, the role of each attorney modifications. Negotiations and compromise transfer to the back burner. Their brand-new task is to “win” and get the very best possible result for their client.

And don’t forget, once you remain in court, it’s a judge who knows extremely little about you and your family that will make the final decisions about your children, your home, your money and how you live your life. That’s a very big risk for both parties to take– and that’s likewise why the threat of litigating is typically such a good deterrent.

Here’s my last word of advice about divorce options: Weigh divorce alternatives thoroughly. The bottom line is that every family, and every divorce, is different. Certainly, if you are able to deal with your other half to make decisions and both of you are honest and affordable, then mediation or the collaborative technique might be best. If you have doubts, it is great to be prepared with “Strategy B” which would be the litigated divorce.

[su_heading]Related Articles[/su_heading]

[su_heading]Solent Family Mediation Important Links[/su_heading]

Back to Top