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Solent Family Mediation assist households in conflict, specifically those divorcing or separating.

Our family mediation service is quicker and more cost-efficient than heading to court. It lowers dispute, and your family stays in control of arrangements over children, property and financing.

We work right throughout England and Wales and our family mediation service has over thirty years’ experience providing specialist, expert family mediation services.

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The Four Divorce Alternatives

Divorce mediation

No two marriages are the same, and so it just follows that no 2 divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a lady who’s contemplating divorce, you have several options about how to proceed. In general terms, you need to consider 4 broad categories of divorce alternatives: Do-It-Yourself (Do It Yourself), Mediation, Collaborative and Lawsuits. Let’s take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of every one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The best recommendations I can give you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

The only scenario I can picture when a Do-It-Yourself divorce might make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marriage lasted just 2 or 3 years and there are no kids, little or no assets/debts to be divided, comparable incomes and no alimony. In a case like that, a Diy divorce could be accomplished quite quickly and cheaply.


In divorce mediation, a divorcing couple works with a neutral mediator who assists both celebrations pertain to a contract on all elements of their divorce. The conciliator may or might not be a legal representative, but he/she should be incredibly well-versed in divorce and family law. In addition, it is important for the conciliator to be neutral and not promote for either celebration. Both parties still need to consult with their own, specific attorneys throughout the mediation and prior to signing the final divorce settlement contract.

Here are a few benefits and drawbacks to think about prior to deciding if mediation will work for you.

On the “pro” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Lead to a much better long-term relationship with your ex-husband since you will not “battle” in court.
  • Be simpler on kids since the divorce procedures may be more tranquil.
  • Expedite an arrangement.
  • Reduce costs.
  • Help you stay in control of your divorce since you are deciding (and the court isn’t).
  • Permit more discretion. Mediation is private; prosecuted divorce is public.

On the “con” side, divorce mediation may:

  • Waste time and money. If settlements fail, you’ll need to start all over.
  • Be insufficient or unduly favorable to one partner. If the conciliator is unskilled or prejudiced towards your other half, the result could be undesirable for you.
  • Result in an unenforceable contract. A mediation contract that’s uneven or inadequately prepared can be challenged.
  • Result in legal complications. Any concern of law will still need to be ruled upon by the court.
  • Fail to discover particular possessions. Given that all financial information is voluntarily disclosed and there is no subpoena of records, your other half might possibly conceal assets/income.
  • Enhance unhealthy behavior patterns. If one spouse is dominating and the other is submissive, the final settlement might not be fair.
  • Fuel emotions. Mediation could increase unfavorable behavior of a partner with a tendency for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Couples often hear about the wonders of mediation and how it is apparently a better, less controversial, less pricey and more “dignified” method to get a divorce. My greatest problem with mediation is that the sole role and objective of the mediator is to get the celebrations to come to an arrangement– any agreement! Unless both parties can be relatively sensible and amicable (and if they can be, why are they getting divorced???), I believe that mediation is generally not a practical choice for many ladies.

Collaborative Divorce

Simply put, collective divorce takes place when a couple agrees to work out a divorce settlement without litigating.

During a collaborative divorce both you and your hubby will each employ an attorney who has been trained in the collective divorce process. The function of the attorneys in a collaborative divorce is rather various than in a standard divorce. Each lawyer encourages and helps their customer in negotiating a settlement arrangement. You will meet your attorney independently and you and your lawyer will likewise meet with your other half and his attorney. The collective procedure may likewise include other neutral professionals such as a divorce monetary planner who will help both of you resolve your monetary concerns and a coach or therapist who can assist assist both of you through kid custody and other emotionally charged issues.

In the collaborative process, you, your husband and your respective lawyers all must sign a contract that needs that both attorneys withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if litigation is threatened. If this takes place, both you and your husband must begin all over once again and find brand-new attorneys. Neither celebration can use the exact same attorneys again!

Even if the collaborative process achieves success, you will usually have to appear in family court so a judge can sign the contract. But the legal process can be much quicker and cheaper than conventional lawsuits if the collective procedure works.

However, I have actually found that the collective technique often doesn’t work well to settle divorces including complicated financial situations or when there are considerable properties. In collective divorce, just as in mediation, all monetary info (earnings, possessions and liabilities) is divulged willingly. What’s more, many high net worth divorces include businesses and expert practices where it is reasonably easy to conceal assets and earnings.

… as a basic rule, my suggestion is this:

Do NOT use any of these very first 3 options– Do-It-Yourself Divorce, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce– if:

  • You suspect your husband is hiding assets/income.
  • Your spouse is domineering, and you have problem speaking up or you’re afraid to voice your opinions.
  • There is a history or hazard of domestic violence (physical and/or mental) towards you and/or your kids.
  • You or your partner has a drug/alcohol dependency.

Litigated Divorce

The fourth divorce choice is the most typical. These days, most of divorcing couples choose the “traditional” design of prosecuted divorce.

Bear in mind, though, “litigated” does not imply the divorce winds up in court. The vast bulk of all divorce cases (more than 95 percent) reach an out-of-court settlement agreement. “Lawsuits” is a legal term significance ‘performing a suit.’

In 80 percent of cases, the decision to divorce is unilateral– one celebration wants the divorce and the other does not. That, by its very nature, creates an adversarial circumstance right from the start and frequently disqualifies mediation and collective divorce, considering that both techniques rely on the complete cooperation of both celebrations and the voluntary disclosure of all monetary information.

Clearly, if you are beginning with an adversarial and extremely emotionally charged circumstance, the opportunities are extremely high that cooperation or mediation might stop working. Why take the threat of going those paths when chances are they might fail, losing your money and time?

The most essential and most tough parts of any divorce are pertaining to a contract on child custody, department of assets and liabilities and spousal support payments (just how much and for the length of time). Although you desire your lawyer to be an extremely skilled mediator, you do not want somebody who is overly combative, all set to eliminate over anything and everything. An overly contentious approach will not only prolong the discomfort and substantially increase your legal costs, it will likewise be mentally destructive to everybody included, specifically the children.

Remember: A lot of divorce attorneys (or a minimum of the ones I would advise) will always strive to come to an affordable settlement with the other celebration. If they can’t come to a sensible settlement or if the other celebration is entirely unreasonable then, sadly, going to court, or threatening to do so, might be the only method to fix these problems.

If you have actually tried whatever else, and you do end up in court, things can get actually nasty and hostile. Up until that point both lawyers were “arbitrators,” attempting to get the celebrations to jeopardize and concern some sensible resolution. Once in court, the role of each lawyer changes. Settlements and compromise move to the back burner. Their brand-new job is to “win” and get the best possible outcome for their client.

And don’t forget, as soon as you remain in court, it’s a judge who knows really little about you and your family that will make the decisions about your kids, your home, your money and how you live your life. That’s a very big threat for both celebrations to take– and that’s also why the hazard of litigating is generally such a good deterrent.

Here’s my last word of advice about divorce options: Weigh divorce options thoroughly. If you have doubts, it is great to be ready with “Strategy B” which would be the prosecuted divorce.

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