Parenting plans after separation
Creating a parenting plan.
A parenting plan helps separated parents agree clear arrangements for children, including weekly routines, holidays, handovers, communication, school matters and future changes.
Recently separated?
Need child arrangements?
Struggling with routines?
Want to avoid court where possible?
What is a parenting plan?
A parenting plan is a practical written document setting out how separated parents will care for their children and make day-to-day arrangements work.
Clear arrangements reduce conflict
A parenting plan helps both homes work more predictably.
Every family is different. A parenting plan should reflect your child’s age, school routine, emotional needs, health needs, family support network and the practical realities of each parent’s home and work pattern.
Mediation can help parents discuss the plan in a neutral setting. The mediator does not decide the arrangements for you, but helps you work through the issues clearly and focus on what the children need.
What to include
A good parenting plan should answer the questions that cause repeat arguments.
Weekly routine
Where the children live during the week, weekends, school nights and ordinary term-time routines.
Holidays and special days
School holidays, half-terms, Christmas, birthdays, religious days, family events and special occasions.
Handovers
Where handovers happen, who attends, what time they happen and how conflict is kept away from the children.
School and health
School contact, homework, medical appointments, health updates and who is responsible for key information.
Communication
How parents share updates, what counts as urgent, how messages are sent and what boundaries are needed.
Future changes
How parents will review the plan when children grow older, schools change or work patterns shift.
Co-operative separated parenting
A plan works best when it is clear enough to follow.
- Agree a schedule that works for the children.
- Keep adult conflict away from handovers.
- Decide how routine parenting decisions are made.
- Agree how school and health information is shared.
- Set expectations around new partners and extended family.
- Build in a way to review the plan when circumstances change.
How mediation supports the plan
The mediator helps parents work through the difficult parts.
Keeps the discussion structured
Mediation helps parents move through each issue one at a time rather than repeating the same arguments.
Focuses on the child
The plan should be built around the child’s practical and emotional needs, not adult blame.
Records proposals clearly
Where parents agree proposals, those points can be recorded so both people understand what has been discussed.
Is a parenting plan legally binding?
A parenting plan is not automatically a court order. It can still be useful as a clear written agreement. If legal enforceability is needed, parents should take legal advice about the correct next step.
When mediation may not be suitable
If there are safeguarding concerns, domestic abuse, coercive control, intimidation or serious welfare issues, mediation may not be appropriate. The mediator will assess suitability at the MIAM.
Parenting plan questions
What should a parenting plan include?
It can include weekly routines, holidays, handovers, school, health, communication, new partners, extended family and how future changes will be handled.
Can mediation help us write the plan?
Yes. Mediation can help parents discuss each part of the plan and record proposals where agreement is reached.
Is a parenting plan the same as a court order?
No. A parenting plan is not automatically legally binding. If you need a formal order, you should take legal advice about the correct process.
What if we cannot agree everything?
You can still record the areas where there is agreement and identify the issues that need further discussion, legal advice or another route.
Do we need a MIAM first?
A MIAM is usually the first step before mediation. It allows the mediator to explain the process and assess whether mediation is suitable.
Useful related pages
Before your MIAM
- List the parenting issues you want the plan to cover.
- Think about school days, weekends and holidays separately.
- Bring details of any court orders or existing arrangements.
- Tell the mediator about any safeguarding or safety concerns.
Need help creating a parenting plan?
Contact Solent Family Mediation to discuss MIAMs, child arrangements, parenting plans, online mediation or shuttle mediation.