Before starting mediation in Rochester (or anywhere in England and Wales), it’s crucial to understand the legal framework and what preparation is required. Mediation is a voluntary process designed to help separating couples find solutions without going to court.
The single most important step is attending a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM).
What it is: A compulsory initial meeting with a qualified, accredited Family Mediator. It is usually held individually and confidentially.
The Purpose: The mediator will explain how mediation and other non-court options work, assess whether mediation is suitable for your specific circumstances (especially screening for domestic abuse or safeguarding concerns), and check your eligibility for Legal Aid.
The Law: If you wish to apply to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements Order or a Financial Order (e.g., in the Medway/Rochester region), you are generally required to show the court you have attended a MIAM first.
Exemptions: You do not need to attend a MIAM if an exemption applies (for example, if there are recent allegations of domestic abuse, or if the matter is urgent). The mediator will assess this during the meeting.
Mediation is not relationship counselling; it is focused on practical, future-facing solutions. You should know what issues can be resolved:
| Area of Dispute | Focus of Mediation | Required Documentation |
| Children’s Arrangements | Where the children will live, when they will spend time with each parent, and how communication will work. The focus is always on the child’s welfare and best interests. | None legally required, but having a clear proposal for a schedule helps. |
| Financial Settlement | How assets (property, pensions, savings, investments) and debts will be divided upon divorce or separation. This is complex and requires full disclosure. | Full Financial Disclosure (bank statements, pension statements, tax returns, etc.). The mediator will help you compile an Open Financial Statement. |
Your success in mediation depends on accepting and adhering to these principles:
Voluntary: Both parties must willingly participate. You can pause or stop the process at any time.
Confidential: What you discuss in mediation is generally confidential and cannot be used in court if mediation fails (with exceptions for harm to a child or money laundering).
Impartial: The mediator is a neutral third party. They do not take sides, give legal advice, or make decisions for you.
Non-Binding: The agreements you reach in mediation are not legally binding on their own. For financial agreements, you must take the document (Memorandum of Understanding or Open Financial Statement) to a solicitor to be converted into a legally enforceable Consent Order by the court.
The more prepared you are, the fewer sessions you’ll need, which saves time and money.
1. Identify Your Priorities: Know what is essential to you, what you are willing to compromise on, and what your ‘bottom line’ is for children’s time and financial division.
2. Gather Financial Documentation: If discussing finances, start compiling all bank statements, mortgage details, pension values (Cash Equivalent Transfer Value or CETV), and wage slips.
3. Check for Funding:
Legal Aid: If you are on a low income or receive certain benefits, you may be eligible for Legal Aid, which can cover the entire cost of the MIAM and subsequent mediation sessions.
Government Voucher Scheme: There is a Government scheme that can contribute up to £500 towards joint mediation sessions for certain family issues. Your Solent accredited mediator will check your eligibility and apply for this on your behalf.
4. Emotional Readiness: Mediation can be emotionally taxing. Prepare yourself to focus on the future and use solution-focused language, avoiding arguments about past behaviour. You are permitted to ask for a break or use ‘shuttle mediation’ (where you stay in separate rooms/video calls and the mediator relays messages) if meeting face-to-face is too difficult.
5. Seek Independent Legal Advice (ILA): It is strongly recommended to get ILA from a solicitor before and after mediation, especially regarding financial matters, to ensure your agreement is fair and legally robust before it is converted into a court order.
We offer mediation hubs around the Solent Region.
Offering Civil and Family Mediation, Legal Aid Mediation.
Strictly by Appointment Only.
Location is not staffed.
Mediation and urgent MIAM appointments can be arranged online
Our Rochester Hub – Find us at;
Swinton Avenue, Chattenden, Rochester ME3 8PH
Call our team to book your mediation on 0238 161 1051